I'm not ready.

Quinn is growing up. Now that he can climb out of his crib I really should disassemble it and get him a big boy bed. But I'm not ready. You'd think that since I've been a mommy for almost 16 years I would be glad to get the last one out of his crib, his diapers, and my hair. But I think that it's because I've been doing this so long that I don't want it to be over. Zaven is a wonderful kid. He really is. But he doesn't snuggle. He doesn't share his mushy partly-chewed cookies. And he doesn't pet my hair with sticky hands. Instead he asks if he can borrow my MP3 player and will I rent The Matrix while I'm out. So even though part of me is relieved to be done with some of the worse parts of parenting, I also know that when it's over, it's not coming back. They will not just grow up, they will grow away. And as much as I love the teenaged Zaven, I miss the baby Zaven with the sticky hands and the mushy cookie. I am not ready for Quinn to borrow my MP3 player or whatever gizmo we have 10 years from now.

So for those of you who are just starting out as moms, or maybe even just hoping to start out, here's my best advice. Don't be in a hurry. Enjoy whatever your family is like now, even as you move towards the next steps.

Oh, and the best way to get a sleeping baby into his crib without waking him is to put a towel under him before you start nursing him or rocking him, then when he drifts off you can carry him like a stork carries babies in the picture books. Just lift up the towel, baby and all, and put it in his bed. That way he won't hit the cold sheets and wake up screaming again. You can even put a hot water bottle in his crib before you start nursing him so that the bed has a warm spot. Just remember to take it out when you put the baby in. And don't forget to put him to sleep on his back. It keeps him safe. I suspect it will be quite a few years before I get to do that again so I just wanted to share it before I forgot it.