Saturday, March 21, 2009

How to spend money.

I've been spending a lot of my time thinking about money. Specifically, how to save it. I read articles in magazines, blogs, and even entire books about how I can save money. It's good information and very helpful. I've saved bunches and bunches of money by following some good advice. But I noticed that for all that helpful information about how to save money, no one is giving helpful information about how to spend money. Well, maybe they think they are because they do tell me how to spend it buying 47 tubes of toothpaste for $3. But I don't really think that counts as spending money well. It has no zest to it. And then there are the sites that tell me to spend $4,329 on a sweater. But not only is $4,329 is too much to spend on a sweater, it's a boring way to waste your money. So just to fill in the gaps in your budget and to meet a need not currently being met on the internet, here is a list of some interesting ways to spend your money.

1. Buy 1,347 plastic flamingos and redecorate your yard.

2. Fly to India to ask the Dish Network customer service guy if he wants to take it outside.

3. Take your 4 year old daughter to Toys R Us and tell her she can only buy the pink toys.

4. Go to the pet store and buy all the animals, then take them to your subdivision and release them into the wild.

5. Buy Seth Green's dream stereo from The Italian Job (with speakers so loud they blow women's clothes off). It should work on men too, right?

6. Hire a contractor to work on your house and pay him at his standard hourly rate until the job is done right. (Oh wait, that isn't fun. It's just expensive.)

7. Pay someone to paint the outside of your house to look like a giant alligator is coiled around it.

8. Buy all the condoms and lube at your local Wal-mart and while you're in line turn to the person behind you and say, "It's gonna be a long night."

OK, that's all I can think of for now, but I hope it inspires you to enjoy your money a bit more than normal in the future. I consider it my gift to the world.


Azaera said...

Haha I like the last one the best. I could so see myself doing that.

Tara said...

I can't find your post a comment button, I just moved the mouse around and clicked til I found it, lol.
# 8 sounds like fun, I would need a video camera to capture the expressions to enjoy for years to come.

#6, I have to differ a bit, expensive yes but some contractors may be worth the money if they are a bit sweaty with no shirt on. Of course he would also have to be hot. I prefer to just sit outside and watch the ones at the house across the street. She is always having something done and I can enjoy the show for no money at all :)

Karen said...

Tara, that's strange that the comments button didn't show. I changed the colors and font last night to make it a bit easier to read, but the button shows clearly on mine. ??? I'll have to post again later and see if it's still a problem.

Eboni said...

I love number 2. Had me laughing out loud, girl!

Eboni said...

Karen, forgive me but I don't understand the photo tag thingy. Can you give me the instructions slowly, lol. Where is the photo file I am supposed to go to?

Karen said...

Sure, Pearly. If you use Windows, when you put new pictures on your computer it usually opens a new file to put them in. Like all my pictures from January are in one file. All the pictures from February are in another.

So when you open up "My Pictures" you'll find a list of files. Go to the sixth file and open it. Then post the sixth picture that you find.

If you're on a Mac, or if you use windows but don't have your pictures organized in files, just pick one at random, like maybe click without looking. It's just for fun anyway.

Once you post your picture, tag 3 or 4 other friends so we can see who's pictures are the goofiest or stupidest or whatever.

Does that explain it?